Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
