Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
