I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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