Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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