look no pants
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
