And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
