have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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