So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
