Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Drunk is not a location!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
