I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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