I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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