My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
