It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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