I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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