He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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