why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
