youre lurking in front of me
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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