Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
