she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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