No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
