the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize