so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just threw up on my dentist
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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