I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
