the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
