i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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