I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
