well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
