Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
