I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
