So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just want nice things and good sex
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
