he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
