what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
