I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
