Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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