How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
