One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
