Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
