in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
