forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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