If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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