Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
