Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
