dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
