is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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