I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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