I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
