sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
