did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
