i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You are the jesus of drinking
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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