Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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