"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
