I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
