I must be too annoying 4 u.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
