My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Randomize
