If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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