There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
