I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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