who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
