Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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