I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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