So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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