I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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