the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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