if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
